


Love and Loss

by Tinyshot



Series: Silver and Steel [3]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Culture Shock, Double Penetration, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Spanking, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:25:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6766783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinyshot/pseuds/Tinyshot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of stories, spanning between 'Living the Dream' and Blind Betrayal quest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a k/meme prompt:
> 
> A companion is at work late night at a table. (Ex. Nick at a terminal putting together clues for a case, Piper writing an article, Preston Garvey working on a gun at the workbench, etc.) When they suddenly feel their lover behind them trying to get some action. Being busy, they only agree as long as they are allowed to continue to work. The solution? Getting oral/fingering under the table while they work. Eventually becoming too frustrated or getting worked overtime to the point that they end up in bed.

It was a rather regular evening aboard the Prydwen. The hum of engines, the creaking of the bulkheads, voices echoing off the metal. Some noises came from the lower deck where a group of knights and initiates were playing poker. Knight-Captain Cade was shuffling through the paperwork, biting on the pen cap absentmindedly.

Annual health checks were a nightmare. This facility didn't really have the capacity for the amount of people that he and his scribes needed to inspect. A few hundred active personnel, most of them stationed at the airport. It didn't help that some of them were out on lengthy patrols and a few more dozens were stationed in different outposts like Cambridge Police Station.

All of them needed to be checked, but this... inconvenience only turned the regular, easy and quick task into a drawn out torture. Soldiers would come and go in waves, and either he had too many people lining out the door, or none at all. Either there was not enough space, or not enough assistants, or not enough hours in a day.

And almost any scribe that proved to be proficient with medicine was immediately snatched away to be assigned to a patrol party.

The medic sighed and continued inputting the names of the people he had already checked into a database. Putting away the final paper, he glanced over the list.

That seemed to be almost everyone.

Except for... well, Elder Maxson. He was a busy man after all. Cade checked the time on his terminal. 2104 hours. He should still be up.

Grabbing some of the required instruments, Cade quickly crossed the hall and knocked on the metal door.

"Elder Maxson?"

There was a sound of something falling and breaking, probably a bottle. Cade frowned. He didn't approve of the amount of alcohol the young Elder consumed, but he supposed there was nothing he could do about it. Maxson was a bit past lecturing age.

Besides, if it helped to cope with stress…

After a few seconds, a reply came through the door.

"Come in, Knight-Captain," he sounded a bit weird. Strangled.

Entering the quarters, he immediately noticed a broken bottle to the right and a sharp smell of alcohol in the air. The table in front of Maxson, usually stocked with various bottles, cigarettes, ash trays and multiple glasses was instead covered in files, folders, maps and books.

The Elder had probably reached for something and knocked the liquor off.

"Should I send for an Initiate to clean this up?" Cade asked politely. Maxson shook his head, looking quite embarrassed and red. Strange. Cade's eyes narrowed. The Elder looked like he was having a bit of a fever.

Breathing more rapidly than normal, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, redness of the cheeks, wandering eyes.

"No need. I'll deal with it... myself. Later. W-what did you want, Knight-Captain?"

Stuttering. Cade hadn’t heard him stutter since he was a child. From a shy squire to a well-spoken, charismatic leader in ten years, sometimes he couldn’t believe how much he had grown into his role.

Now he was even more concerned by the fact that Maxson was having trouble speaking. That wasn't like him at all.

"I've noticed you haven't completed your annual health exam, Elder. You should be an example to your people, sir. Instead, you're late."

Maxson nodded, running a hand through his hair. He cleared his throat as if he wasn't sure in of his own voice and answered calmly, a lot more quietly than normal.

"I'll visit sickbay tomorrow, Knight-Captain. Thank you."

"We could proceed now," said Cade carefully. "You're looking... unwell, sir."

Maxson's head jerked up from a map he was looking at. The young Elder was flushed and shook his head vigorously.

"I'm feeling great, Cade. Though I, ah, I appreciate your concern."

The Elder took in a ragged breath and adjusted the tight collar of his uniform. Cade stepped around the table, worried...

"That's close enough, Knight-Captain," forcefulness returned to Maxson's voice, though he sounded somewhat rushed.

"Sir, if I may, you look feverish. I should take a look at..."

"Dismissed, Knight-Captain," growled Maxson, staring him down. Cade took an involuntary step back.

"Elder..."

"Out! I said I'll be there tomorrow!" Mood swings, noted Cade gravely, hurrying out the door. One moment he was fine, the next he was about to rip him apart by the looks of it. He would have to research the symptoms.

 

Back in the Elder's quarters, Arthur groaned and reached down under the table, roughly grabbing Anna by the short hair. He pulled her up, panting. She smirked at him, wiping her lips.

"You think that's funny," he chocked out. She nodded, grinning. “He could have noticed you."

"I don't care if he did. But I doubt that," Anna shrugged and untangled his hand from her dark hair. Leaning closer, she whispered in his ear, "I like it when you give commands while I suck your dick."

Arthur rolled his eyes at her, leaning back into the uncomfortable chair. He was hoping to get a lot done tonight. It seemed to be a great evening for it - no disasters requiring his attention, weather was fine and the Prydwen didn't swing around in the wind, no insubordinate soldiers to to deal with.

Except for this one.

Anna had dropped by his quarters about an hour after he had started on planning a route to get to CIT. He needed to plan multiple safe tracks that would be programmed into Liberty Prime in case one of them would be rendered unavailable.

She was still in the dark about all of it, and Arthur didn't want to tell her yet. When Ingram gave him the heads-up though, she would hear all about it.

Seeing that he was quite busy, she started going through his books, inspecting the maps and asking questions. Of course she did. However, since his answers were monosyllabic, Anna was starting to get bored with this pretty soon. Instead, she decided to entertain herself by attacking his bottle of bourbon, going through his guns and even putting on his battle coat.

He had to admit it looked pretty good on her. Though oversized for her willowy body, it seemed... fitting somehow. Arthur supposed it was just his imagination.

Dropping his coat on the bed, Anna crept up behind him and started running her fingers through his hair. It felt nice, her nails were scraping his scalp lightly. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. After a few seconds, he bent over the maps and books again, trying to concentrate.

And then he felt her lips on the back of his neck. Biting back a moan, Arthur turned to her. She stood up straighter, hands clasped behind her back, as if she was reporting to him; looking innocent... except for that hip tilt. And a smirk.

"Anna," he sighed, smoothing his hair back into submission, "I have to get this done."

"That distracting?" she raised an eyebrow. There was a mischievous spark in her eyes. Arthur groaned. Just like him, the woman had a tendency not to do as she was told. He supposed it was a trait that defined a lot of exceptional people.

Stubbornness.

It would be easier for him to lock the door, throw her on the bed and give her what she wanted. And maybe a hard fuck would clear his own head a bit. He had read somewhere that man's best time for thinking was after having an orgasm - mind no longer clouded and distracted by the needs of flesh.

No, he couldn’t. He had too much work to do...

But there was defiance in her. The way she stood, the way she looked at him, the way she spoke. He knew that she knew, he could never ignore a challenge like that.

"Fine," he spat, turning back to his maps, "as long as I keep working."

Her lips returned in a moment, leaving a trail of kisses downwards. Reaching over to the front, she unzipped his jumpsuit a bit, allowing her to pull the collar lower.

It was very distracting. More often than not Arthur found his eyes closing, focusing not on the books but on the sensation of her lips on his skin. He also had to adjust his hardening cock, growing increasingly uncomfortable in the tight uniform. He was trying to make the movement subtle, but with her hands on his shoulders it was impossible to hide.

He heard Anna chuckle behind his back.

"I guess I'll have to help you with that."

She stepped right next to his table and, looking him in the eyes, sank down onto her hands and knees. Climbing under the table, she positioned herself between his legs and smirked at him.

"Keep working."

He tried. But his eyes would stray down to look at her as she unzipped the flap on his flight suit and let him free.

Words blurred in front of his eyes when she took him into her mouth. Arthur found himself reading the same paragraph over and over without understanding any of it. She sucked and licked, and her tongue was sliding right under the head where she knew he was the most sensitive. Gasping for breath, he reached down to grab her shiny dark hair...

Then the knock on the door came. Arthur tried to jump up, but she held him tight. Instead, he collided with the table, knocking over a bottle. Anna pulled him down, making him sit back and all he could do was zip his uniform back up, smooth his hair and breathe.

Whatever Cade wanted had to wait. He was too distracted, to put it mildly. Anna had doubled her efforts when the medic walked into the room. Arthur was terrified one of his officers would see him in this position.

He tried to keep his voice leveled when he talked but then couldn't stop himself from stuttering slightly when Anna lightly scraped her teeth under his head. He almost moaned out loud. Trying to keep his breathing under control was the hardest part. He had to count to three each time between breaths to stop himself from panting.

He was also aware he was turning red from embarrassment against his will. Tugging on his collar to give himself more air, Arthur shivered, sucking in a ragged breath. He barely could keep it together as he came, spilling into Anna's mouth. She swallowed it all quietly, lapping up every drop.

When clarity returned to his mind, he felt a bit more confident that he had enough control over his voice to send the medic running after he promised to show up tomorrow for something, a medical exam or whatever, and forgetting all about it as soon as the door closed.

 

So here they were. Anna was grinning from ear to ear. Arthur looked pretty pissed. That usually meant that he would be rough.

But that would also mean that she had won. His will was strong, but not strong enough. He was still a very young man. Sometimes it was easy to forget that he was barely out of his teens in fact.

Pushing her away, he stood up. Anna sat back on her haunches, waiting.

"Strip and get on the bed," he commanded, walking to the door. Not even a trace of quivering in his voice, his stride confident. He had recovered rather quickly. He was almost as stubborn as she was herself, and he could never resist a challenge.

After locking the door, he turned back to her. She could feel his eyes on her as she slowly unzipped her jumpsuit, freeing herself. She wasn't wearing underwear since she was planning on having to undress anyway. His eyes widened when he realized that and Anna chucked.

The flight suit dropped to her hips, stopping there. Smirking, Anna turned around and wiggled herself out of the pants, presenting Arthur with the full view of her ass. Bending over to unlace her boots, she could feel him stare.

Kicking the boots off, she stepped out of a puddle of orange fabric and walked over to the bed. Within a second, Arthur was behind her. He pushed her down, face forward, and she barely had time to climb up when she felt his hand on the small of her back, stopping her.

"That's good enough," he said in a low voice. Her knees were almost on the edge of the bed and he pulled her a little towards him, her ass hanging in the air right next to his waist.

Anna could hear him undress and bit her lip in anticipation. She was soaking wet. She didn't like orders, but boy, did she love it when Arthur used his commanding voice in the bedroom. It was even harder to follow his regular orders, though, her mind slipping back to moments like this.

A sudden sharp slap to her ass cheek made her whimper loudly. She felt Arthur pressing his body to hers, his hand clamping down over her mouth.

Smack.

He held her tight and her cry was lost in his palm.

"You were insubordinate again, Knight," he hissed, delivering another heavy slap to her ass. Anna whimpered and nodded. "I don't like it."

Smack.

She could feel the heat and throbbing where he had slapped her. Her breathing was heavy but he was careful not to cover her nose.

"We'll have to. Work. On. That." Each word was punctuated by a sharp slap and Anna cried out, muffled by his other hand.

She could feel him hardening again against her thigh. There definitely was a benefit of having a young lover. Even biting back tears, even bent over and spanked, she still smirked defiantly.

Without any warning, he was ramming inside, impaling her on his length. He let go of his hand over her mouth and Anna mewled loudly. Without giving her much time to adjust, he started moving, pursuing his own satisfaction. Grabbing her by the hair, he pulled back hard and she hissed at the burning sensation on her scalp.

"You know what I do with insubordinate knights?" His hot breath tickled her earlobe and she stifled a moan. "I punish them."

"Yes, sir," she whispered, closing her eyes. Her ears were probably the most sensitive part of her body. His tongue traced the edge of her gentle lobe and it was enough to make her shake. Arthur chuckled behind her, low and husky.

His pace was merciless, every powerful snap of his hips ramming him into her cervix. Pain twinned with pleasure as she cried out, not caring who could hear them. Let them hear.

His lips found her ear and he took it into his mouth, making her shudder. She was tightening around him almost painfully as he lapped and sucked at her lobe. Shivering at the feeling, Anna wailed mindlessly at the pleasure she was given. He untangled his hand from her hair and slid it down her body, finding her throbbing clit.

A few strokes to the small nub of flesh and she was writhing in his arms, coming hard. Arthur didn't stop moving even then, sending aftershocks through her body as he ravaged her. Her whimpers and sobs were echoing in the sparsely furnished room.

Finally, Arthur reached his breaking point, too. His hands grabbed her hips almost painfully, probably leaving marks. He growled low in his throat as he came again, filling her up with his seed. Anna could feel the wetness overflowing her as he pulled out.

They both collapsed onto the narrow bed with Arthur nuzzling up closer to her, whispering soothing, gentle words. He peppered kisses all over her neck and shoulders, his short beard tickling her skin. A stark contrast to the cruelty of his actions just a few seconds ago. Anna pulled him closer, closing her eyes; heat leaving her body, making her shiver slightly in the cold air.

Content. At peace. That's how she felt after being with him and hoped he felt the same.

"Damn it. I have an idea," he muttered, suddenly sitting up. Anna cracked one eye open, wrinkling her nose.

"Can it wait?" she sighed. He shook his head and jumped up.

"It's important."

He grabbed faded fatigues from a locker and paused, looking at her disappointed face. His determined expression softened and he walked up to the bed. Taking his coat, he pulled it over her, knowing she was almost always cold.

"Won't take long, I promise. Go to sleep."

Arthur pressed a kiss to her forehead and smoothed away some hair sticking to her face. Anna smiled sheepishly and closed her eyes. Within a moment, she was drifting off while he went back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 to Syrenpan for editing.


	2. Never Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is made better with some jetpacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff incoming. Danger! Turn back.

There was loud cheering outside of the command deck. It sounded like dozens of people were out there. Arthur frowned, trying to concentrate on the paper in front of him but it was not going to happen.

His curiosity piqued, he attempted to put his files away. To actually put them down, he had to rearrange a row of liquor bottles which were still present in his command center. He's ought to dispose of some of them. After all, having a functional relationship in his life was a good alternative to heavy drinking.

Stepping outside, Arthur saw a crowd of people watching Ingram attach something to someone's suit of power armor. It was... a rather interesting contraption with tubes and fuel tanks and nozzles...

A jetpack. A real jetpack.

Well, that explained the enthusiasm.

The person in the suit shifted and nozzles gave out a short burst of flames. Ingram was nodding approvingly.

"Good. Good! I think a few of those babies will help a lot when the time comes."

The knight - stepping closer Arthur could see it was a knight's armor - nodded. Arthur pushed his way through the crowd, walking up to the Proctor.

"Ingram, shouldn't you be working on the schematics Knight Lester had brought in?”

The redhead groaned and waved a blowtorch at him dismissively.

"It's fine, Elder. She doesn't mind this distraction. I mean, you could ask her yourself, right Anna?"

To his horror, the person who was about to test pilot the suit was indeed her. Anna took off her helmet and beamed at him, looking absolutely happy.

"This is going to be fun, Ar... um, Elder Maxson."

She winked. Ingram snorted loudly.

"You two really think none of us have eyes? Or ears? Everyone and their mother knows," she hissed, making Anna roll her eyes.

Arthur frowned but ignored the comment. He had to keep up appearances, even if there was talk all over the chapter. He dreaded to think of what would happen if anyone would figure out they had made an... arrangement with Danse. Speaking of which, he was standing right there, looking proud.

He was fucking proud that his protégé was about to do a test run a jetpack. Like he wasn't seeing Ingram's missing limbs right in front of him. She had been doing a test run, too, even though that situation had been quite different from this one. Still, power armor didn't save her legs.

"All done," Ingram gave the armor a knock, "whenever you're ready."

Anna went to put on her helmet but was stopped by Arthur's hand on it.

"I urge you to reconsider this, Knight. There are people whose job it is to do stunts like this."

"And miss all the fun? Come on, Arthur," she pushed his hand away, ignoring the whisper that went through the crowd when she called him by his given name. Or that she disobeyed him, or both. She put her helmet on and secured the latches.

"If you fall, don't do it over the sea,” Ingram told her, stepping back.

If she falls. Arthur gritted his teeth. He had to remind himself that she was more than capable... and strong... and he had no business to interfere. But he couldn't help the icy feeling of dread that gripped his insides.

"Alright, this is model J-87, version 0.2.5, test run one, whenever you're ready, Knight."

He wanted to order her not to do this. But she gave a salute and he heard her voice through the speakers.

"Hey, I'll get to fly like an Iron Man! It's so worth it!"

"This is not a comic book!"

But she was already sprinting off the vertibird landing pad. When she jumped, it seemed for him like she was hovering in the air for an eternity before plummeting down to the ground.

His heart did the same thing.

Arthur grabbed the railings looking down, knuckles pale. A second later a suit of power armor soared up through the air, propelled by powerful jets. The men behind him cheered.

He heard her shout of excitement. But then she tilted and started rotating in the air as she fell again.

"Side thrusters! NOW!” Bellowed Ingram into her communicator.

Smaller nozzles activated, stabilizing her flight in the span of another two terror filled seconds.

"How does that feel?"

"... uh, jumpy!" Anna answered through her communicator, hovering about a hundred yards over the airport, "but exiting!"

She laughed as she gave the jets more thrust and soared up and backwards, making a wide loop.

"I was born for this shi-"

The jets spewed a puff of dark smoke and turned off. Ingram cursed loudly.

"Anna!!" he didn't give a damn for the heads turning when he yelled.

The suit was plummeting down again, this time because of some sort of a malfunction. Arthur couldn't watch and couldn't not watch in some sort of twisted morbid fascination. Like seeing Sarah's dead body, smashed and partly eaten by a deathclaw, an image forever singed into his memory.

Arthur had hunted the beast down, slipping away from the Citadel. He was thirteen. He made it pay and forever wore a mark for it to match the scar on his soul.

Anna landed on her feet by some miracle. The groaning of the suit's hydraulics was even audible up on the Prydwen. For a second, she stayed down then slowly rose and waved a hand at them.

"I'm all right, I'm good," she sounded breathless and Arthur couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, Knight, get out of the suit and I'll need to inspect the damage..." started Ingram.

Arthur strode up to the beaming Danse.

"Out," he growled.

"Elder?" the man sounded confused.

"Out of your suit. Now."

Everybody was looking at him but he was too busy staring Danse down.

"Paladin. That's an order."

The swoosh of the pneumatics was his answer and Danse barely had time to stumble away from his suit before Arthur was climbing inside. With his coat on and armor calibrated for Danse's larger frame, it rubbed in all the wrong places but he didn't care. He ran up to the edge of the platform and leaped.

A familiar lurch in his stomach, followed by a crash into the old concrete that resonated deep within his bones, and he was on the ground. Exiting the suit, he ran to where Anna had landed. She was just getting out of her own power armor, the jetpack making it tricky.

Before she was able to jump down to the ground Arthur swept her up and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

He was faintly aware of cheers and whistles form the crew above on the ship, echoed by the ground team.

When he had to come up for air, she was panting, too, her cheeks slightly rosy. He smirked, now, this was new. He couldn't remember having ever seen her blush.

"You can put me down now," she said, breathless again, though for a better reason.

Reluctantly, he let her out of his arms, already missing the feeling of her body pressed against his.

"Well, I guess some people had a good show," Anna smirked, running her fingers through her hair that looked even messier than usual after being in a helmet, "that won't help the rumors at all."

"I don't care. You're safe and decorum be damned," he said sternly, clasping his arms behind his back as usual, "you could have been hurt."

"I wasn't."

"You're not test piloting this thing again."

She shot a rebellious glance at him.

"Make me."

"Anna!" he gritted his teeth. He would not plead again, he would not… “Please, this is too dangerous."

Her expression softened at his request. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"You can't protect me from everything."

"I can protect you from unnecessary risk," she was shaking her head. Stubborn to the end, unaware that she probably gave him another few gray hairs with her reckless stunt.

He heard a vertibird land and saw Danse and Ingram climbing out. Danse rushed to all but hug his precious suit, immediately getting inside after inspecting the damage. Ingram was on her way to them.

"Come to my quarters when you are done here," he finally said, watching the Proctor's approach, "I just... I need to tell you something."

She nodded warily and turned away, sitting down on her heels by the armor, inspecting a deep fissure that had appeared in the metal after the crash.

 

Arthur was reading through a report a few hours later when the door opened. Anna walked in, her jumpsuit sleeves were tied around the waist. There were smears of machine oil on her tank top, as well as on her cheek. Leaving the terminal open, he stood up.

"A drink?" he reached for an open bottle. She nodded.

It was already half empty. Arthur splashed some whiskey into two glasses and handed one to her.

"Sit down... I just wanted to tell you..."

Anna was on the couch in a second, feet tucked under her bottom. She smiled and patted the seat next to her. He shook his head.

"I think you should know something."

"Is it bad?" Her tone had a hint of tease in it. Arthur shook his head again.

"No, it's just I... uh, I wanted you to know there was another woman before you. A girl, really."

She lifted an eyebrow.

"Well, I kind of knew you weren't a virgin. You had some skills, for sure. Why? Is that bothering you?"

He rubbed his forehead. How did one even have a conversation like that?

"No. It's... something else."

Something in his tone made her sit up straighter. Anna looked him in the eyes.

"Tell me."

Arthur propped himself on the edge of his table, sloshing alcohol in his glass. He didn't want to remember, but he wanted her to understand.

It was hard to ignore the growing pit in his stomach when he spoke.

"I was just appointed Knight. She was my Initiate. A few years older than me, but we... we had chemistry," he chuckled and took a sip to get a little pause in to collect his thoughts, "I was so in love I thought I was going to marry her."

"What happened?" Anna asked quietly. She probably figured out the answer already. His story was as old as the world itself.

"I was promoted to Paladin. She became a knight. In a few months after that I was leading a charge against Shepherd's supermutant horde. And she... she died in that campaign."

Anna was on her feet and next to him before he knew it. Silent as a shadow. She pressed her hand to his scarred cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am. It was my idea. My strategy. I should have been smarter, should have planned better. She died because of me. Because I ordered her to."

He nuzzled into her hand, feeling rough callouses that formed on her skin from handling weapons and fixing machinery.

"Was there anyone else?" she asked carefully.

"No. Just you. I was... busy. I became Elder and it sort of distanced me from everyone else. I had too much to do to have time for distractions like this. All those older officers, those... adults. Watching. Waiting for me to make a mistake. No, there was no time."

Anna nodded, her fingers rubbing his cheek in slow, soothing motions.

"Now that I've established myself, they worship me. It's unsettling, and it was an even bigger rift between me and others," he pressed a kiss to her palm, "I'm still amazed I found you. But I'm not... I'm done losing people I care about. Never again."

"Who were they?" she asked after a moment of silence.

He sighed heavily, their faces flashing in his mind.

"Owyn Lyons. His daughter Sarah. Wanderer. My parents, though I don't remember much of them."

"You loved them."

"I did. Elder Lyons was like a father to me, and Sarah, Sentinel... she was a first crush. And soon after there was Wanderer, a vault dweller, like you. The two of them were so strong and smart and... I was smitten, but I was just a kid," Arthur sighed, a sad smile touching his lips, "running around, yapping at their heels, citing Codex to them. All of them were gone one way or another before I turned fourteen."

Anna smiled softly, probably trying to picture him as a boy and then snorted suddenly. It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. She was shaking her head.

"You have a type or something?"

"Huh?"

"All those... older women."

He flushed deeply.

"Uh, now that I think about it..."

She giggled in response. Willing for the blush to go down, Arthur took a deep breath and continued.

"What I'm trying to say is... I can't lose you too," he pulled her closer, and Anna rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't protect you from everything out there but I will try."

Closing her eyes, Anna nodded.

"I understand. I know what it feels to lose loved ones."

He knew she did. Still, he was afraid she wouldn't get it. Though everyone had lost someone in the wasteland, she was from another age. A kinder age.

Tugging on his arm, she smiled.

"Come."

Anna led him to the bed and climbed on top of it. When he joined her, she cradled his head to her chest, running her fingers gently through his hair.

"I can't promise you I won't go looking for trouble. There is too much to do. And I can't promise you that I will come back... But I can promise you that I will try.”

He sighed, closing his eyes. Hugging her back, he thought of promises they both did and didn't make. Of things they still had to do. In a few minutes they would have to get up and return to their duties, but for now... For now he was at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 to Syrenpan for edits.


	3. Scoreboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Greygarden. Yeah, both of you.

The sun had obviously decided to get some fried Paladin for an afternoon snack. Danse's power armor was cooking him, the metal around him radiating heat in waves. A bit more and he would have to start panting like a god-damned dog.

He briefly regretted his decision to go on foot. Checking with the map, he made sure that he was walking in the right direction.

Danse knew the way to Greygarden pretty well. It was Anna's personal house, staffed with a bunch of Mr. Handys. They often stopped there on their travels around the Commonwealth.

She had left a few days ago in the company of MacCready. She had said there were a few things she needed to do that would ruin his power armor. Danse didn't like it but she was right. He could not always follow where she could go, not just because of stealth issues; even his posture, his manner of speaking, his attitude gave him away. Anna kept saying he needed to learn subterfuge if he wanted is to continue being the Shroud from time to time.

It wasn't easy to overcome fourteen years of conditioning but he tried for her sake.

He frowned. Vertibird patrols had seen her around Old North Church again. Was she meeting with those synths lover freaks?

Maybe that's why she didn't take him with her. The real reason.

A house was visible from where he was standing now, trying to cool off a bit in the shade of a giant tree. He had found a note on his bed soon after she had left.

'Meet me at Greygarden in two days.'

Unable to stop himself from smiling smugly, he proceeded to the house.

During the travels one of them would always keep watch, that was a question of safety. They often shared one bedroll but only because most of the time they were too exhausted to unpack the second one. So when one rose to take watch, the other just dropped down into warm covers right after.

But Greygarden and Kellogg's place in Diamond City were safe and secluded. They could both rest. And they could have sex. Away from the Prydwen and its metal walls, from curious eyes and ears. The Prydwen was Arthur's. Danse would never dare to do it there for fear of damaging the young Elder's hard won authority. Everybody knew that Anna shared a bed with Maxson.

Hopefully, none had yet guessed that Arthur shared Anna with him as well.

Maybe Arthur wasn't concerned about making the whole damn ship aware of when he was taking his lover, but Danse definitely was. Knowing too well how clearly sounds rang through the metal, he refrained himself from showing too much affection for his charge when they were on board.

There was no need for such discretion out in the field. Usually, as soon as he would climb out of his power armor after reaching one of those two safe spots, Danse would be pressing Anna into the wall, not caring for weariness and fatigue. In those moments she was his. Dust and grime of the wasteland on her skin, blood spatters on her flight suit, her hair smelling of smoke.

His.

Some might argue that their bond was stronger, forged in blood and battle. There were things Anna did that only he understood. The gestures, the way she could tell him things with a single look. The way she easily interpreted his silent nods. There was clear synergy between the two of them.

Arthur never fought by her side. Danse was content to know the Elder would probably never know this feeling of closeness with her. A different type of closeness, only born in trial by fire, in stitches of bloody wounds, in quiet conversations at the camp.

To get a booty call from her? Danse was now all but sprinting towards the door, his gaze zeroing in on the handle.

He almost collided with Arthur Maxson doing the same thing. Luckily, he was able to dodge, pushing sideways off Danse’s breastplate. Running into someone wearing power armor was never a good idea.

Running into someone wearing power armor who was also running towards you? It was nicknamed 'pain train' for a reason.

They stared at each other. Arthur clasped his hands behind his back as usual. He was also feeling the summer heat, a sheen of sweat glistening over his lowered eyebrows.

"Paladin," Maxson's voice was ringing with annoyance, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"Elder," Danse frowned, "I could ask you the same thing."

Another long pause when they tried to outstare each other. Finally, Danse bowed his head. Arthur was still his Elder, despite their arrangements about Knight Lester.

"I was summoned here."

By the way Maxson's brow shot up, he wasn't expecting this.

"By whom?"

"The person who owns the damn place," he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Anna left me a note when she headed out.”

Arthur seemed to be taken aback.

"Wait. She left a note for me, too."

"What?"

They both turned to the house perched up and over the back of a greenhouse, rising upwards two more levels. Danse didn't want to know how she had managed to do that.

"I guess there is only one way to find out."

Danse left his power armor at a docking station that Anna had built right outside the house, taking care to remove the fusion core before he followed Maxson inside. Since the building wasn’t big, it didn’t take long to find out that it was empty.

"I hope this isn't some sort of joke," huffed Maxson impatiently. Danse shook his head, smirking. The Elder seemed a bit on edge, perhaps because of his presence. Ever since that first time in the bowels of the Castle, they pretty much separated their time with Anna.

Danse had a good hunch about what she had in mind, but kept it to himself for now. He wasn't sure Arthur knew. Or how he would react.

"You're in a hurry?" asked Danse, walking onto a small balcony where a metal barrel was set-up to collect rain water. He peeled off the top of his jumpsuit, grabbed a small bucket sitting nearby, got some water in it, and then dumped it over himself with a satisfied grunt. The summer heat was instantly more bearable with a light breeze blowing over his damp skin.

Rubbing some dirt off his face with a faded piece of towel, he closed the lid on the barrel and returned inside.

"No. But I can't be gone for too long," grumbled Arthur, tossing his coat on a sofa.

"They ever ask you why you never bring anything back from your 'hunts'?" chuckled Danse. Maxson shrugged, seating himself.

"They know I have some stuff I do off the ship. Besides, who would question the Elder? For all they know, I might be huffing on jet in Goodneighbor."

"Instead you rushed over for a booty call."

"Pretty much."

Danse looked around. He fished out a bottle of vodka from a crate in the corner and showed it to Arthur. The Elder shrugged.

"Sure."

Cups were harder to find so they ended up just drinking it from the bottle. Danse guessed she didn't have many visitors here. Aside from the occasional trader, this place was empty most of the time. Handys managed the crops and automatic turrets managed raiders.

Danse found some Tesla Science issues Anna was keeping in the desk. The next hour and a half was spent talking about energy weapon mods. Arthur seemed to feel rather inspired by one of them.

Danse suspected that Final Judgement was going to become even deadlier when it got back to the ship. Not that the monster of a Gatling laser needed any _more_ fire power.

The sun was starting to set. Greygarden was already covered in shadows since an ancient freeway hung over it, blocking the light. Danse lit a lantern, washing the room in a soft golden glow.

"Where is she?" now Arthur sounded worried. Danse wasn't, not really. Anna could take care of herself. He had trained her well: weapons and armor, tactics, even hand-to-hand combat, something that was especially hard for her. Consequently, he had made it clear to her that she should never engage in a contest of strength. It wouldn't be too hard for most men to overpower a lithe, willowy woman. Dodge, keep your distance, outmanoeuvre a heavier, stronger but slower opponent.

Initially, it was mostly for his own satisfaction. To have her close. To press her body into the floor and hope she wouldn't notice just how excited he was. But then it was his turn to fly face first into the wall.

She practiced with Rhys now since Danse preferred to keep his nose intact. He would still watch and direct them both, their mistakes much more obvious from a distance.  
  
"She'll be here, Arthur. I wouldn't worry." It didn't seem to make the Elder any calmer but Danse tried.

While he was snacking on some cakes, the lights suddenly went off. Both of them jumped up, ready to fight. The air flickered and Anna appeared right in front of them, a Stealth Boy in her hand. She was smiling.

"I see you got my message."

She was wearing the Silver Shroud costume. That explained her absence. She was just doing some crime fighting, that's all.

"Why leave a message for both?" Arthur was obviously unhappy. Anna smirked at him from under the brim of her hat.

"There was something I wanted to try for a while now.”

Danse chuckled. He still hadn’t put the top of his flight suit back on, even though it was getting a bit chilly.

"And what is that?"

Instead of answering, she undid the belt that was holding her black trenchcoat closed. Danse swallowed hard, hearing Arthur taking in a sharp breath.

Underneath the coat she was wearing a thin, almost transparent shirt, fully unbuttoned and tied right under her breasts, her skin exposed. A loose tie fell down her body like an arrow, pointing down to the shortest skirt Danse had ever seen in his life. It did absolutely nothing to hide her long legs, clad in high boots.

"I thought you two could help me test out my new costume," she said in a low, husky voice.

Danse and Maxson exchanged glances. Danse was grinning. Arthur seemed unsure. The younger man raised an eyebrow, his eyes questioning. He could almost hear _you ever done this before?_ from the look he was giving him.

Danse shrugged, nodding slightly. _I may have._

Anna left the Stealth Boy on the desk and sat on top of it, crossing her legs, waiting for one of them to make a move. Her fingers played with a knot on her shirt as she smiled, the tilted hat casting a shadow on her eyes.

Figuring that Arthur would take some time to get more comfortable with the idea, Danse walked up to her. Pushing her hand away, he pulled at the knot, loosening it.

"Seems impractical," he said in a stern voice, letting her shirt fall open, "only restricts your movement without providing much protection. Might as well go naked."

"If you say so, sir," her smile widened. Insubordinate as she might be in the field, Anna was nothing but obedient in moments like this.

His palm easily covered her small breasts as he pushed the shirt and the coat off her narrow shoulders. Biting lightly on a brim of her hat, he tugged it off her with his teeth and threw it away with a quick motion of his head. Danse noticed that she bit her lip as he did that.

Wrapping the tie around his hand, he pulled her forward.

"Now this is a clear choking hazard. Also gives your opponent an additional opportunity to grab you."

The tie tightened around her throat, so he was careful not to tug too hard as he pulled her up from the desk and pressed a hungry kiss to her lips. Her skin on his felt cold but he would change that soon.

Breaking the kiss, he turned his head to Maxson, smirking.

"Any input here, Arthur? You know a fair bit about armor..."

Slowly, he walked up to them. Getting behind Anna, he slid his hands down her back and she sighed, shivering lightly. Arthur's fingers found their way under her skirt and he chuckled.

"You know this is not protocol clothing, Knight?" he ran his tongue along her ear and she moaned, “And you shouldn't neglect adequate protection down there, too."

Anna nodded, gasping for breath. Burying her face in the crook of Danse's neck, she hung on to him as Arthur fingered her. Danse slid his hand down under her thigh, making her raise her leg and hook it up over his waist. Arthur's lips were leaving a string of kisses on her neck and shoulders while Danse put his fingers under her chin, making her look at him.

"I think our Knight here needs to be taught a lesson, Elder."

Raising his head Arthur nodded, his blue eyes dark with lust.

"Agreed..."

Lifting her with almost no effort at all, Danse walked over to the bedroom, kicking the door open. They had stumbled this way towards the bed more times than he could count, but tonight was different. He wasn't sure if this would ever happen again. So he wanted to make sure all three of them would remember it.

He noticed a knife on the nightstand and had an idea.

Dumping her on the bed, Danse didn't immediately follow her. Instead, he reached over to grab the knife, checking how sharp it was. He grinned at her.

"Here is how this is going to go, Knight," he bent over her, undoing the tie and cutting off her skirt. She had no panties on and she was visibly wet, her folds glistening. His cock twitched in anticipation, but he didn't obey its primal desire, “We are going to make you come. As many times as we can. We will make you beg for mercy. But we will carry out your punishment no matter how hard you cry. Is that clear?"

“Crystal clear," she whispered, "sir."

"Good girl," he answered, getting rid of the rest of his clothing. Using the silvery tie, he tied her hands together. He stepped back, admiring his handiwork. Anna was sprawled on the bed, her legs spread out invitingly, chest rising with rapid breath. Her eyes dark and heavy with lust, her pussy already leaking.

Turning to Arthur who was getting rid of his jumpsuit, Danse grinned.

"Want to go first?"

"With pleasure, Paladin," he answered, his voice hoarse. Danse leaned over on the wall, playing with the knife.

  
Anna was going to whine if they would delay this any longer. She was already dripping with juices. Her long time wet dream - to have both men at the same time - about to become reality. She understood that Arthur wasn't too comfortable with this and appreciated Danse taking the lead.

Even though she had never done it herself, Anna was all too excited to try.

The bed groaned under Arthur's weight as he climbed up on beside her. His kiss was greedy, urgent. His hands roamed her body, his lips left a trail down her neck and breasts. Flicking her erect nipple with his tongue, Arthur slipped two fingers into her sopping pussy and she moaned, arching into him.

Danse moved closer, sitting himself on the bed beside them. Anna could see that he was stroking himself slowly, eyes focused on her.

Arthur's long fingers curled up, hitting the spot she liked and Anna cried out. He slid down her body, licking and kissing a trail as he went. Reaching her apex, he lifted her hips a bit and pressed his tongue into her.

Danse leaned over her, taking her abandoned nipple into his mouth while she writhed and moaned under Arthur's tongue. He learned quickly how to make her feel good and how to make her beg for more. Sucking at her folds and clit, curling his fingers deep inside of her, he made her cry out his name as she came for the first time. A wave of pleasure washed over her, white hot and intense. Gasping, she felt her pussy clench rapidly around his fingers.

He kept lapping at her clit as she was coming down, sending aftershocks through her body. Danse let go of her nipple and rose up on the bed.

"One," he said, smirking at them both. He used the knife and scratched a line on the wooden wall over the headboard. Arthur's wet lips formed a devilish grin.

"Your turn, Danse," he told him, wiping his mouth. He put his wet fingers to Anna's lips and she sucked them clean, swirling her tongue around them just like she did it when she sucked his dick. The similarity was not lost on him as his gaze almost burned through her skin.

Arthur shifted away from her as Danse took his place. The Paladin flipped her over on her stomach, giving her ass a good smack and a squeeze. Hooking an arm under her, Danse had dragged her closer to Arthur so she was in the middle between them.

"I like to watch. It's fun. But I like to participate more. Why won't you make sure Arthur is feeling good too?"

Anna didn't need to be told twice as she reached down and took Arthur's throbbing cock into her mouth. He hissed and grabbed her by the hair, looking down at her, meeting her eyes.

She felt Danse lifting her hips higher as he started to suck and lick at her pussy, dripping wet from the last orgasm. He was rather skilled, too, and he was adding slicked fingers to her other hole, rubbing and gently pressing on the tight ring of muscles. Then he slowly slipped a finger inside.

Anna moaned into Arthur's cock, coaxing a quiet curse from him. Danse always liked to play with her ass, but had never actually done anything more than that, although he had clearly wanted to. Apparently, tonight he was going to get his wish, too.

Leaving her pussy alone, Danse spit on her tight hole, slicking his finger as he started moving it in and out. The light burning sensation was going away as she adjusted to the feeling, relaxing her muscles. He added another finger before pulling them apart slightly, stretching her out. Anna whined and also felt that Arthur had started to move, slowly fucking her throat since she had stopped paying attention to him, distracted by Danse's fingers in her ass.

She resumed her sucking, moaning from the new sensations Danse was giving her. And then his other hand descended on her clit, rubbing and pressing on it harshly. She shuddered, it was too much.

"Scream now," he whispered, and she did, coming apart under his hands. Before she could even catch her breath, she heard a blade scraping the wood.

"Two," smirked Arthur, jabbing a knife into the wall next to the markings, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

Danse gave way to Arthur as they switched around, and Arthur plunged deep inside her as soon as he was between her legs, unable to wait any longer. Anna cried out, still feeling the residual tremors in her pussy. Arthur was fucking her with a brutal pace, it was clear he wouldn't hold on much longer.

Anna felt a soft touch on her lips and opened her eyes, seeing Danse's dick in front of her. Beads of precum gathered on the top. She licked them off and took him into her mouth. The Paladin groaned as Arthur's thrusts made her moan around his cock, sending vibrations through him. Her fingers fondled his balls as she sucked, sliding her tongue under his head.

Cursing, Arthur pulled out, spilling himself all over her back. She felt his hot seed hitting her skin, drops of it sliding down.

Lifting her hips a bit higher with unsteady hands, Arthur used his mouth to finish her off one more time. Danse reached over to grab her ruined skirt and wiped her back clean as she was reduced to a mewling mess again.

"Three," a knife scratched another line on the wall. Danse grinned at her, raising an eyebrow, “Regretting your actions yet, Knight?"

Anna shot a defiant glance at him through a curtain of the hair that was falling in her face.

"Nope. No regrets."

"I see," his eyes narrowed. Anna smirked in response.

Arthur dropped heavily onto the bed, trying to catch his breath. Danse turned Anna towards him, picking up just where the other man left off. The quivering of her previous orgasm hadn't subsided yet and she felt the tide of another one rising surprisingly fast.

It felt like she was going to explode. Too much, too fast, her body already begging for a break. But she'd rather eat her own armor than admit that to him.

A strangled moan escaped her lips as Danse slid in and out of her, holding her up by the elbows. Sensing movement next to her, she opened her eyes and saw Arthur scooting closer, intensely watching her being fucked. Noticing him, Danse pulled her up higher, making room for him to get close. Standing up on his knees in front of her, Arthur kissed her deeply. Their teeth clattered against each other a couple of times as Danse's thrusts made her jerk forward, but Arthur didn't let go.

Instead, his hand slid down to her pussy, rough fingers connecting with her clit, bringing her over the edge soon after. The tightness and spasms of her triggered Danse's own orgasm and he pulled out as well, swearing liberally.

Anna collapsed on the mattress, shaking lightly, pleasure still surging in her body. Through her half-closed eyes she could see Arthur scratching another line on the wall.

"Four," he whispered, smiling darkly, "you're barely conscious. Sure you don't want this to end?"

"Hell no," she breathed out. He was villainously handsome when he smiled like that. That smile made her insides flutter even after all the orgasms she just had.

"We'll see about that," Arthur answered, leaning over her. His cock was back up again, and while Danse was taking a break, he was going to take her. Anna on the other hand had barely any break at all before she was filled once more.

Flipped back over by strong hands, she was impaled by Arthur's cock. He lifted her hips, hooking her legs over his waist as he fucked her senseless. Anna didn't have any energy left in her to even meet his thrusts, but he did it for her.

Suddenly, he leaned over her and captured her ear with his mouth. The wail Anna gave made Danse jerk up, worried for a second. Then the Paladin grinned, watching her writhe and shudder under Arthur, who had to slow down his movements.

Carefully pushing Arthur away, Danse took over her gentle lobe. He propped her up against his chest, squeezing and playing with her breasts as his mouth sucked and nibbled at her ear, allowing Arthur to resume his pace.

It was too much. Her skin crawled, her toes curled, her heart was about to burst in her chest. Anna screamed as the world went blank, exploding in a white hot supernova. The men didn't stop, however, and she barely rode off one wave of pleasure before she was overwhelmed with a second just as intense.

"Five and six," Arthur's voice was muffled, as if it was talking to her through a pillow, "impressive."

As they let go of her, letting her catch her breath, she saw the two men high five, grinning from ear to ear. She rolled her eyes at them before she was unable to hold on to reality any longer.

 

When Anna was able to unstick her eyelids, she found herself sprawled on Arthur's broad chest. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Felt good?"

"Ugh..." she moved around a bit, feeling just how sore her body was, "I'm not sure I'll be able to walk tomorrow."

"You won't," answered Danse from behind her, his fingers tracing her spine gently, "there is just one more thing left to try. You were just too tired before we got to it, so we let you rest for a bit."

The room was lit with a lantern again, darkness outside had taken hold of the world.

She shifted, noticing two more notches on the wall, and eyed the two men suspiciously.

"Did you two really high five or was I seeing things?"

Danse shrugged.

"Maybe. It seemed... appropriate."

"I guess I should be thankful you don't say 'Ad Victoriam' when you come," she groaned, covering face in her palm. Arthur chuckled underneath her.

"Don't give him ideas."

Danse's fingers that were lazily tracing her back dived a little lower, making circles on her cheek. A suggestion.

She raised her hips a bit, getting a satisfied smile from Danse. Helping her lift her hips, he dipped his fingers into her still very slick pussy, coating them, before sliding up.

Slowly, very slowly he worked his fingers in one by one into the tight ring of muscles, stretching her again, this time not stopping. Anna shivered, quiet moans escaping her lips. Under her, Arthur stroked himself awake, watching them.

After she was more comfortable, Danse buried his rock hard cock into her pussy. Giving it a few thrusts, he pulled out and easing her on top of Arthur's cock instead. Spitting on his palm, Danse worked the spit into her as well before pressing the tip of his own cock into her ass.

Biting her lip, Anna was tensing up against her will. But Arthur's mouth found her neck, his hands ghosting over her back, scratching lightly. He was making her relax, give in.

Breathing deeply, she felt herself spreading out. Stretching, being filled like never before. Initial discomfort subsided soon as Danse filled her up, squeezing her tightly between their bodies.

While he let her adjust, he kissed and nibbled lightly on her shoulders.

Danse started with shallow movements, slowly gaining speed and amplitude when he was sure she was ready. Anna mewled. The feeling was better than she had ever expected it to be, being filled to the brim by two men at once. She wanted more, and her hips thrust back, meeting Danse in the middle.

That was when Arthur started moving too.

It was different from the frenzy of the first half of the night. Soft rocking of the bodies, the warmth, the care. The love. Their hands and lips were everywhere, worshiping her weary body. And when she came again, washed away by the bliss, they were at her heels, soon joining her. Their seed shot deep inside her as they gasped for breath and whispered her name.

Collapsing on the bed in a tangled pile of bodies and limbs, they nestled in to sleep together. Behind her Anna heard Danse chuckle.

"Ad Victoriam..."

She snorted as Arthur laughed openly. Her eyes were closing again when she felt a thin blanket being pulled over them all.

They never added the seventh notch.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long time coming.


	4. Shards of Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Institute infiltration.

When lightning cracked through the air in the middle of a bright, cloudless day, it startled a lot of people. The sharp, fresh scent of ozone spread through the air as bystanders at the ruins of Boston Airport blinked away the dark lines in their vision.

What they saw in the middle of a scorch mark on the concrete was a body. Or they thought it was a body until she started moving.

Propping herself on her knees and elbows, Knight Anna Lester tried to get up. Her limbs gave way from under her, however, and she collapsed back onto the ground, smearing more soot on her flight suit and her face.

"What the hell are you staring at, you lazy fucks?" yelled Proctor Ingram, pushing her way through the gathering crowd. People made an uneven ring around Lester's limp body as if afraid to even step into the charred circle. "Get her up on the ship now! And radio them, too, tell them to get medbay ready!"

No one moved except for Knight Rhys who broke off from the crowd, crossed the singed spot, and gingerly picked the unconscious woman up. Shooting a disgusted glance at the people around him - still in silent denial - he sprinted toward the vertibird landing pad with the Proctor at his heels.

 

When he saw her off, Arthur couldn't help the feeling of dread deep within his heart. It felt like a shard of ice stuck in his chest. Always there, chilling him to the bone.

The metal contraption sucked most of the power out of the airport, leaving only a few blinking lights on. Darkness was closing in when Ingram finished her calibrations. Even then she wasn't sure it would work.

Scribes that were helping Ingram step away when the blinding blue light started gathering on top of the machine, charging up.

Haylen was one of the scribes present at the place and she ran over to Anna, hugging her tightly. Anna patted her head, smiling softly.

"I'll be fine. I trust Ingram and the work you all have done."

"Just be careful, alright?" Haylen looked nervous when she glanced over at the teleporter. "This thing... it's something. Something no one should mess around with."

"There’s nothing I can do about it. But I promise not to trip over anything vital."

The comment made the young Scribe smile, although a little uneasy. Haylen let go of her and stepped back into the shadows, a good twenty paces away from the machine.

On the way to the teleporter she stopped in front of Danse. He nodded, putting a metal clad hand on her shoulder. She winked at him in response. Arthur could have sworn those two had their own language. As far as he could guess it meant 'Be careful' - 'I always am'. But he could be wrong.

Finally, she made her way towards him, carefully stepping over massive cables that were littering the ground. Anna smiled at him, her white teeth flashing in the pale blue light. He had never seen anyone in his life with teeth like that. Her smile was unique. A pre-war curiosity, just like every other little quirk about her.

Ingram let them know it was eighty percent charged. They didn’t have time. They never had time. He pulled her into a tight embrace, capturing her lips for as long as he could. All too soon she moved away, breaking the kiss, but Arthur didn't let go of her just yet.

"Come back to me," he whispered, leaning close to make himself audible over the humming of machinery.

Her smile was sad. She ran her palm over his scarred cheek as she whispered a response that lodged the icy blade of fear and helplessness into him.

"I will try."

She climbed onto the teleporter. The light was blindingly bright now. Ingram yelled that she had caught the signal. Arthur locked eyes with Anna for the briefest moment.

A flash had made him look away, blinking at the sudden tears and black spots it had brought. When he looked back, she was gone.

There was no way of knowing if she had made it or if she had been disintegrated on the spot.

 

Eighteen hours later she blinked into existence at Boston Airport. Nine minutes after that she was in the medbay. Arthur was by her side as soon as the vertibird docked, wrenching her body away from Rhys.

It was another hour of waiting before she came back to her senses, opening her eyes and squinting at the light. Arthur reached out to her, relieved, and touched her shoulder.

Anna flinched, jumping off the cot at the contact. She had to grab onto a wall for support. With wild eyes she looked around as if not recognizing anyone. A few moments later she seemed to relax, slumping down along the wall.

"Anna," he whispered, hoping she would look at him. She didn't. There was something wrong. A terrible thought hit him - what if the Institute had replaced her with a synth copy? He chased the thought away. It couldn’t be. He would not believe it. He wouldn't...

Knight-Captain Cade carefully approached her. She seemed to recognize him. Anna allowed him to pull her up, allowed him to stick a needle into her arm. Even from where he was sitting, he saw she was hyperventilating from... what? Terror? What did she see in the Institute to make her afraid of him?

As the drugs were putting her to sleep, Cade asked Arthur in a quiet, collected voice to leave. For her sake. He protested, but even the sound of his voice seemed to make her flinch.

 _For her sake_. Gritting his teeth, he stormed out of the medbay.

 

First thing in the morning, Arthur sneaked into the medbay again despite Cade's warning. He was hoping to at least watch her sleep before heading off to start his day. Not that he had slept at all anyway.

The medbay was empty. Her cot was abandoned. Breathing deeply to calm himself, he called for the guards.

The Knights on duty didn't see anyone leave. Arthur then asked if at any point during the night the door to the vertibird deck had been opened.

The answer was yes. Was there a vertibird leaving for any reason in the night? The answer was also yes.

She had left. He knew Anna had a few Stealth Boys in her possession. He'd seen her using them. Arthur willed himself to calm down but he couldn't dislodge the shard of ice stuck in his chest. He felt it there, the jagged edges digging into his heart. A bottle flew into the wall of the command deck, shattering, as Danse walked inside, solemn and serious as ever.

The Paladin approached him, putting a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"I'll find her, Arthur."

"I should be the one finding her," he muttered through his teeth. But he knew that he couldn't. Not with her afraid of him for some reason, not with the amount of work he needed to do to keep the Brotherhood running. He couldn't afford being away for too long.

"I'll get Dogmeat. He will find her even on the other side of the Commonwealth."

His head jerked in a half-nod as he turned away.

"Bring her back, Danse. Please."

He saw Danse nod in the faint reflection in the window glass and saluted him before walking away. The imaginary shard in his chest felt just a little more painful.

 

Dogmeat sprinted through the forest, raising up a cloud of dust that Danse followed. Every now and again the dog would stop and inspect a patch on the ground, keening. Danse supposed that's where Anna had stopped to rest. Even being weakened by her ordeal, she managed to cover a significant distance.

He thought at first that they were headed for Greygarden. That would make sense. Not many people knew about it. But he did, and Arthur did.

No, she wouldn't go to Greygarden. Or Sanctuary for that matter. Too many people. She obviously wanted to be alone but that would leave her vulnerable. Danse wouldn't allow it.

So he trudged through the mud, following Dogmeat. Whatever had happened in the Institute had left her afraid. Broken.

He willed himself not to worry but in her state... He didn't know what to think.

It was nearly sunset when Dogmeat started barking furiously, charging towards some half destroyed shack in the middle of nowhere. The place wasn't even on the map, hidden from view by a small rock formation. Danse approached it carefully. Dogmeat was whining and scraping at the door with his front paws.

There was some light inside, but the door stayed shut. After a moment of consideration, Danse knocked. He got no response.

"Anna?"

Light flickered a few times but silence was his answer again.

"I'm coming in. We are coming in," he caught himself. Dogmeat was as much part of the team as anyone else. More than some, in Danse's personal opinion. The dog's loyalty and love for his mistress were unquestionable.

The door was unlocked. Danse walked inside, lighting the flashlight on his helmet.

He almost immediately saw Anna huddled up in the corner. She didn't look at him when the light fell on her. She was tightly wrapped in her Silver Shroud coat, her Pip-boy next to her glowing in the soft golden light. Dogmeat rushed over to her, whining and keening. Trying to lick her face. She covered herself with her arms, curling up in a tight ball.

Danse closed the door and exited his power armor. This place felt so dark, so hopeless. He was unwelcome.

He carefully approached Anna who was still trying to push Dogmeat away. Danse sat back on his haunches nearby, pulling Dogmeat off her. The shepherd wasn't happy about it but he let him do it, reluctantly.

"Anna..."

She lifted her head a bit, looking at him from under the tangled mess of dark hair.

"You found me. I'm fine. Now go away."

Danse shook his head.

"You're not 'fine'. I can see that. Dogmeat can see that. Everyone could see that yesterday."

"Danse. Go away."

Sitting down on the floor, he crossed his legs.

"No."

"Fine," her voice was devoid of all emotions. Cold. Defeated. It hurt him to see her like that.

She fell silent, staring at her knees. Danse risked scooting a bit closer towards her.

"What happened at the Institute, Anna?" he asked quietly. He was yearning to reach out and comfort her, but it felt like she wouldn't welcome it. She didn't even want to see Dogmeat. That wasn't like her at all...

Without lifting her gaze, she started talking. Monotonous, quiet, obviously rehearsed. She told him about Father. And her son. The tour of the Institute. People she met. Technology she had seen.

It was like she disconnected from it all. Her voice didn't shake when she confessed to him that the Director, the leader of their enemy, turned out to be her son.

Danse didn't know what to make of it. Anna was always so passionate. Rebellious. Funny. Sparkling with life. It seemed like a part of her had died in that horrid place. It was unsettling.

When she finally fell silent, he didn't know what to say for a while. He wasn't qualified in any way to provide emotional support, not with his own feelings so pent up and stashed away. He didn't know what to do.

So he tried to smile and reached out to her. Anna flinched at his touch just like she did with Arthur.

"Come on, Anna... You can get through this. We will get through this."

She shook his hand off her shoulder and Danse let it fall.

"Come on..." he paused, trying to find right words. "Chin up. This is not the Anna I know..."

Her head snapped up for the first time since he had walked in. Anna's eyes flashed with anger. Rage, even. And pain, so much pain that his own seemed minuscule compared to what he was seeing in her golden eyes.

"BECAUSE I'M NOT!" she shrieked, jumping up. "I'M NOT!.."

She collapsed against the wall, grasping at it for support. Tears that never came when she was talking about her son flooded her beautiful face, contorting it in anguish. Dogmeat jumped up too and let out a high pitched keening noise, trying to reach her, comfort her.

Danse was on his feet in a moment, getting a hold of her shaking body. She tried to wrench herself away from him but he held her tight. Soon enough she stopped her struggle, just letting him hold her as she howled with a pain he couldn't understand.

"Anna..." Danse pressed her to his chest, smoothing her hair as gently as he could. "What happened?"

Her tears soaked through the fabric of his uniform as she buried her face in his shoulder. She wasn't able to answer him, not in this state, so he just let her cry.

It was a long while before she quieted down. She was still shaking but there were no more tears left in her. Carefully sitting down on the floor with her, he hugged her tighter. Dogmeat, almost as distressed as his mistress was, came to lay his head on her hip, his head diving under her hand. She finally brushed his thick fur with her trembling fingers before laying her palm on the dog’s back.

"Tell me what happened, Anna... What did you meant ‘you're not’?"

She took in a deep, shaky breath.

"Do you know... how they teleport you, Danse?" Emotions were back in her voice, even if it was pure pain. It was still better than seeing her as an empty shell.

He shook his head. All that tech was way above him. Even Ingram had to make an educated guess.

"It doesn't just magically... move you in time and space. No... It's... so much worse... Danse..."

"Tell me..."

He saw another tear sliding down her cheek.

"They... rip you apart. Atom by atom... disintegrate you. I was _dead_ , Danse. For the briefest moment, but I was gone. I know it..."

His arms tightened around her even more. He nodded, letting her continue.

"... then a copy is reassembled in another place, from different atoms. A perfect copy... but it's not the original. The original me... she is dead, Danse... I'm a copy, a _copy_..."

She started shaking again, her chest rising rapidly. He was rocking her gently on his lap, not knowing what to say. Not knowing what he could ever say that could lessen her pain.

"And then I had to go through it again... Ripped apart... Put back together. I'm not me anymore. And I will never be... And... And..."

"What is it, Anna?" He carefully took her face in his hands, wiping away tears with his thumbs.

"What if I'm a synth? Memories of real Anna implanted... like in the Memory Den? How would I ever know?.. How would the rest of them know? The Brotherhood... Arthur... they would never trust me again..."

Danse shook his head. Looking in her desperate eyes, he suddenly understood. The words came pouring out of him before he could realize it.

"No," he said firmly, "I would know if it wasn't you. You're Anna. I know it. I can feel it."

She tried to remove his hands from her but he didn't let her. Holding her gaze, he spoke calmly.

"You're the Anna that I met all those months ago. You're the Anna who became a Knight, you're the one who became my student... and my friend. You're the Silver Shroud, you're the General. You are the bravest and strongest person I know. And I know it's you because I love you."

"No... that woman... is gone, Danse. I'm a copy... I'm not..."

He cut her off by pressing his forehead to hers. Closing his eyes, he whispered.

"You're here. And you're _real_."

He heard her letting out a shuddering breath mixed with a quiet cry. He felt more tears falling on his hands, but these were of a different kind.

Relief.

She threw her hands around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. He held her in his arms as she cried. He held her until her sobs subsided and long after that, long after she fell asleep.

Not moving for fear of disturbing her sleep, he leaned his head back on the wall. Her last words before she closed her eyes haunted him.

_Don't tell anyone. Please..._

She wanted to be strong. She needed it. And for that, she needed him to be strong too.

He looked down at her face, still troubled even in her sleep. And he knew then, copy or not, he would be strong for her. No order or directive would make him tell anyone about what had been said here.

Not the Brotherhood. Not even Maxson. She didn't trust anyone else with this secret. Only him.

Danse leaned back on the wall and closed his eyes.

"You're real, I know it," he whispered into the darkness, and he meant every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 syrenpan for fixing my terrible grammar.


	5. Future Tense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For her, the future is today. But Arthur Maxson keeps thinking of tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Culture clash at it's finest.

Water shimmered at high tide, licking at Anna's boots. She picked up a flat stone, cleared the sand off it and skipped it over the water, making it jump a good dozen times.

Arthur watched her with intense curiosity.

"What was that?"

She stared at him in disbelief.

"You… are serious, aren't you?" Her face was almost sympathetic. She then smiled and waved him closer. Anna cleared her throat and made her voice sound official, "Elder. Today I pass onto you the ancient art of skipping stones off the water. Look closely..."

She picked up another suitable stone, shook the sand off, carefully showed him the way to throw it, and then skipped it.

It made about the same distance as the first one before plunging into the water. She picked up another stone. Taking Arthur's gloved hand, she put it in his palm.

"Try it."

He turned the stone over in his hand, inspecting it. Then he tried to skip it. It jumped over the water a few times before dipping into it, disappearing.

"Good. Try doing it closer to the water. It will fly further," she nodded. Grabbing another stone, she made it skip even longer.

It was nice to have something she was better at than him. Fun stuff. Warfare was his speciality but at the cost of so many other things.

Little things that people usually learned as kids. But Arthur had instead learned how to fight and how to lead ever since he was old enough to speak. No one taught him how to play fetch with a dog. How to build sand castles.

Or how to skip stones.

After shaking sand off her palms, Anna took his hand in hers as she pulled him further down the beach. They could still make out the airport from here but it was far enough away.

A small smile appeared on Arthur's face. He was still a bit uncomfortable with simple signs of affection like hand holding, but he was getting better.

Anna suspected that he had never had any opportunity to do anything like that before he met her. Damn protocol and decorum. The duality of it was very much obvious. On the one hand Brotherhood soldiers were expected to have family and procreate and on the other rules strictly forbade fraternization.

The summer sun was way past its peak, slowly edging towards the distant mountains behind them. Anna sat down on the clear patch of sand, laying her musket next to her. Arthur sat down beside her on the other side. He was out of his coat for once. It was way too hot for that.

His laser rifle was still slung over his broad back. There were some mirelurks in the area, of course, but it seemed to be quiet for now. So Anna took the weapon off him before laying down in the sand, her head resting in Arthur's lap.

He played with her hair absentmindedly.

"You were out with a squire earlier today," he said quietly.

Anna nodded.

"Squire Jameson. Cute little kid. He did well."

Arthur hummed in response. Anna cracked one eye open. From what she could see of his face, he seemed concerned.

“What?”

"I was just thinking. Did you, uh... did you by any chance got exposed to high amounts of radiation in the Glowing Sea? You made a few expeditions there..."

Anna frowned, trying to remember.

"Some. Maybe? Of course in this time even crabs spit radioactive goo in your face and even vegetation had to adapt to rads. I just wish they didn't become so... brown."

Arthur seemed puzzled.

"What other color would the plants be?"

Smiling, she looked dreamily into the sky.

"Green... They should be green."

There was a long pause, punctuated only by the whisper of waves.

"That's... the most bizarre thing I've heard you say so far," by the looks of it, he didn't believe her. Anna chuckled.

"Oh, I've seen some weird shit back in the day," she grinned, closing her eyes again. "The plants were green, baseball was a graceful game, deathclaws were no bigger than your palm and called 'geckos'. And open water didn't have rads in it."

"Well, back in the Capital Wasteland you can actually drink the water from the river. The Wanderer saw to that."

"Can you swim in it?"

"Sure."

"Nice. I'll have to get there one day."

 

Arthur's heart skipped a beat when she mentioned that. She'd come back to Capital Wasteland with him? Well, that wasn’t exactly what she had said, but it was the best thing he had heard in over a week.

Ever since she had returned after the incident with the Institute, Anna had spent a lot more time with Danse than with him. It was understandable, he supposed. Danse had been the one to come for her and comfort her after what she had learned about her lost son.

But he couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of his mind. There was a newfound closeness between them. Jealousy, suppressed for a long time, was rising its head in his chest.

He regretted ever deciding to include Danse into their relationship. It was what she had wanted... even if back then she wouldn't admit it to herself. Arthur thought that's what the two would stay - friends with benefits. In hindsight, it was probably foolish.

It felt like she was drifting away, slipping through his fingers, which didn't help his mood at all. He couldn't lose her too.

Which was what got him thinking in the first place. It had been... a long time since the whole thing started. They were together for a while now.

"Anna."

"Hmmm?"

"You didn't really answer my question."

She sighed, clearly annoyed. Sitting up, Anna shrugged.

"No, not really. And I was sure to have Rad-X and RadAway with me at all times. There was no serious exposure, not enough to be concerned about."

He frowned, his expression darkening. She raised her eyebrow at him.

"Why?"

"Then what is wrong? Are you... sick?"

She stared at him.

"What the hell are you talking about, Arthur?"

"You were, uh, bleeding last week. You are not... getting pregnant. Is something wrong?" He could feel a slight blush creeping up under his beard.

Her mouth fell open. After a moment of stunned silence, she pushed him away.

"What the fuck? What brought _that_ up?!"

"Just tell me if you can't have children, damn it!" Frustration was boiling up within him. She didn't even bother to tell him if she couldn't. But she had had a child before, she was supposed to be fertile.

Never exposed to radiation before the war, frozen in time for two hundred years. Perfectly preserved. But then again, what could those two hundred years of cryo do to a body? He didn't know. No one in the world really knew.

Anna jumped up, sending a rain of sand flying into his face.

"What. The. _Fuck_. Maxson! You mean you expected that to happen?!"

It irked him. She never called him by his last name when they were alone. It felt wrong. He got on his feet as well, glowering at her.

"Of course! It's what you expect from being with someone! Unless they are infertile. A lot of people are."

"Wait. What?"

Her brows shot up. Suddenly her expression changed to something different. Anna tilted her head to the side, looking at him with wide eyes. Thinking.

Arthur rubbed his temples. She could be so infuriating.

"With the background radiation being so high in places, a lot of people are rendered infertile. You have no idea how much people used to care about my crotch when I was little. Being the last Maxson and all. So just... did you or did you not get irradiated after you got out of the Vault?"

She bit her lip, frowning, snuffing out Arthur's hope in an instant. She did? Did she remember just now?

Anna suddenly dropped to her knees, roaring with laughter.

"It's not funny," growled Arthur, clenching his fists. She rolled on the sand, paying him no mind. Her laughter was so bright, however, he couldn't stay angry at her for very long.

Sitting down, he huffed in annoyance. What was wrong with her?

Finally quieting down, Anna propped herself on her elbows. Her jumpsuit and dark hair were covered in sand, but she still grinned widely.

"I told you I've seen some shit back in the day. Imagine that, pre-war people made themselves infertile on a regular basis."

It was his turn to stare at her, wide eyed.

"W-What?! Why would anyone do that?!"

She snorted.

"Kids are expensive! Clothes, food, diapers, then you probably need a bigger house... And they grow fast, so it only gets worse! Then all the schools that you would need to pay for! Back then you didn't just do this shit without thorough planning! I mean, unless it kind of just happened. But most people, you know - uh, actually you really don't - would make sure extra babies didn’t appear in their life!"

He tried to wrap his head around what she had just said.

"Pre-war people were crazy."

Anna shook her head, causing more sand to fly around her.

"You're crazy! You were seriously expecting me to have your _baby_ by now? That's... just madness!"

They stared at each other.

"So you've... made yourself infertile?" He was surprised at how sad his own voice was. "Before the war?"

"Yeah. It's not like I wanted to have another kid so soon." She said it like it was an obvious thing.

"I see."

He turned away. Arthur had hoped... well, it didn’t matter any longer. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he looked at the shimmering water.

Noticing his mood, however, Anna sat in front of him. She was smirking. Why was she so gleeful all the time? Even after what she had just said?

"It's something that is easily fixable, you know."

"What?"

All right, she just beat her own record of saying weird stuff, especially in one day. Arthur frowned at her again. But she seemed genuine.

"It's a small... thing that was put inside my uterus. I'm sure Cade is more than capable of removing it. It's not that hard."

"Huh."

"It's a small copper clad device. Really simple. If I were to take it out, I should still be perfectly fertile."

"That's some technology I've never heard about. And it's not going to be of much use in the wasteland."

"I guess," she sat beside him, hugging her knees, "I've never thought about that, you know. The kids situation in the world."

"Children are rare and precious in the wasteland,” Arthur said quietly. “And so many of them die in infancy." It was his turn to explain something that seemed obvious.

"That one I've guessed. I've seen a couple of Initiates who had measles. They were quarantined as it ran its course. In my time you got vaccinated for shit like that as a kid. I'm immune to stuff like mumps, rubella and polio. And a bunch more."

He had heard of that one. Pre-war life was comfortable and safe, he knew. After the bombs fell, however, the diseases had returned to the world in force. Brotherhood records indicated that the first generation of the founders were immune, but the children born to them after the war had suffered greatly.

But he never really thought about Anna being a piece of that time, endowed with many gifts that were unavailable to anyone else. Like an invisible shield of immunity to a lot of diseases. Radiation free upbringing. Unbelievable health. The bright white smile he loved so much.

Even her skin was untarnished. The only scar she had from before was a tiny notch on her chin, left by a crash from a bicycle as a child, she had told him. She added a couple more from the wounds she had received after waking up in the new world, but the smoothness of her skin was still amazing to him.

He turned his head to her, looking into her thoughtful face.

"So... would you, uh, take it out?"

She stared at him with unreadable expression.

"No."

"Oh."

He turned back, looking at the shifting ocean. She didn't want his children. Maybe she thought Danse would be a better father? Danse was always so good with squires. Riding them on his shoulders, playing games with them when he had time. Ruffling their hair affectionately when they walked by.

Arthur only knew war. Even as a kid he felt different from other squires. Never getting too close, the weight of the Maxson dynasty always lying heavily on his shoulders. People kept him at arm's length. The only person to ever ruffle his hair was the Wanderer since she couldn't care less about his name.

He hoped that, perhaps, Anna would become the mother of his child, binding her to him in a way. That wasn't in her plans, however, and he had to respect that. She had that choice.

"Not yet, anyway. I'm... I guess you could say old-fashioned that way. I need a plan. And not knowing how the Institute campaign is going to go is worrisome."

He watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"What about after it's defeated?" He was pushing his luck. He knew that much. Luck was never on his side, though. Arthur wasn't lucky, despite what some people said. He had to claw his way through every obstacle that life threw at him, using skill and determination. Never luck.

Anna turned his head towards her with her fingers, leaving specks of sand in his short beard. Her light-brown eyes looked almost golden with the warm summer light shining into them.

"When it's defeated, we'll talk about it."

It wasn't a clear 'no'. It was a 'maybe'. Despite it being rather undetermined, her answer assured him.

"Besides," she smirked, "you're the tactician. Make a plan for me."

A small smile curved his lips up.

"I will. When the Institute is defeated, I'll have it ready. I promise."

They got up from the sand and slowly started making their way back to the airport. Arthur already knew he was going to search the archives of the Brotherhood when they returned. It had to contain some information about pre-war customs, bizarre as they may have been.

Marriage customs in particular. The Brotherhood had their own traditions, but he wanted to make it right for her. An upbeat time traveler that had shoved her middle finger at the wasteland and refused to let it destroy her.

Maybe he was lucky after all. It was an impossible chance that someone like her would find him two hundred years after her world had ended. And if fate would have it, she'd be his wife soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> Next up is Blind Betrayal. Uh-oh.


End file.
